The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines domestic violence as “abusive behaviour directed by one member of the family or household member against another. It usually happens in the context of a home, particularly among family members.
As the name implies, domestic violence is a violent act, and it can result in serious damage or injuries to the people involved or even death. Research shows that women and children are the easy targets of domestic violence, which may be physical, verbal, or passive in nature.
Unfortunately, it is culturally believed that domestic violence is a disciplinary measure. Therefore, it is acceptable to hit, beat, torture, rape, or better a woman to serve as a deterrent to others. Domestic violence is also known as domestic abuse, and it is prominent in Nigeria as well as other parts of Africa.
Types of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence can manifest in various forms under the following:
Physical violence
Sexual violence
Economic violence
Psychological/emotional violence
Isolation violence
Causes of Domestic Violence
The causes of domestic violence can be likened to Newton’s third law of motion, which states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This means that every action will always generate a reaction to certain factors in the family. Some of these factors include:
Evil desire
Jealousy
Uncontrolled anger
Disclosure of sin
Unforgiveness
Quest for position and power
Preferential treatment among children
Mental health
Early marriage
Unemployment/poverty
Alcoholism
Infidelity
Consequences of domestic violence on parents
There is no doubt about the consequences associated with domestic violence on the parents, the children and sometimes neighbours. For the parents, the consequences include the following:
Physical injury: Domestic violence often results in destructive actions or boldly injury. In the course of self-defence, particularly between couples, a partner can use any object on the victim, thereby leading to permanent damage.
A video trended on social media sometimes ago about a woman who beat her household and burnt her ten fingers with a hot electric iron.
The injury led to the young girl’s deformity. The Nigerian Tribune (March 23, 2024) reported a case of a businesswoman who asked the court to dissolve her marriage of 14 years over alleged domestic violence, battering and adultery.
The woman reported that during one of the incidents, her husband hit her head with a POS machine, and this caused her to be hospitalised for weeks.
Encouragement of lying: When a woman is frequently beaten by her husband, she may appear innocent in public because she does not want to expose her husband’s wicked actions. If people ask her about the cause of her bruises, she may be tempted to lie just to put up a face in society and cover up her shame.
Lack of empathy: Any man or woman who has been exposed to abuse or violence may not see the need to sympathise with a victim. He/she would rather encourage other victims to become defensive or aggressive against any of their perpetrators.
Premature delivery: Some women have suffered from false labour and premature delivery as a result of frequent battering during pregnancy. Such wicked acts have led to abortion or having deformed babies.
Drug abuse/alcoholism: In any home where there is repeated violence, the man may be exposed to drugs, excessive alcohol and other substances as a way to ease off the tension.
Depression/Mental health: Some people turn to depression when they can no longer find peace at home. The situation can result in a mental disorder if left unattended.
Sexual denial: A woman who is frequently beaten may decide to deny her husband sexual pleasure and vice versa. When this happens repeatedly, one party may be tempted to seek pleasure elsewhere without minding the consequences. A woman might go to the extent of trading sex for money.
Separation/divorce: When it becomes obvious that the challenge of domestic violence in a home is increasing, one party may choose temporary separation. Later, he/she may file for divorce to save his/her life.
Suicidal attempt: When there is no remedy for some victims of domestic violence, they can begin to attempt suicide.
Death: The encouragement for couples to continue to tolerate one another amidst violence may end in the death of one party. Research shows that women who experience domestic violence have a higher risk of death. While women are more likely to voice their distress in such situations, men often, out of shame, choose to tolerate and suppress the reality, silently enduring the pain until it tragically claims their lives.
Consequences of domestic violence on the children
Children are not left out of the consequences of violence at home. A common proverb says, “Where two elephants fight, the grass suffers.” A few of the consequences are discussed below.
Lack of concentration: Children raised in a home with no peace, love, or joy but rivalry, crisis and violence usually lack concentration, particularly at school. They often isolate themselves.
Neglect: Children who grew up in a home where violence is practised tend to feel neglected and unloved because they lack adequate parental care and attention. Instead of a joint effort of their parents to care for them, they are sometimes left to fend for themselves. Some of these children may begin to roam the streets, looking for what to steal for survival.
Drug abuse: Waywardness, drug abuse and other crimes are associated with children from homes where domestic violence is prevalent because they lack proper guidance and attention.
Suicidal acts: When the home is not peaceful, a child might think that the only way of escape is to end his or her life. A child. A child may even inflict physical pain on him/herself as a way of expressing the inner struggles he or she is going through.
Physical injury: Violent acts around children might result in physical injury to the children. A young man shared his experience of how he lost an eye because of the frequent fights between his parents while growing up. “Every attempt to proffer a solution failed, and in the end, I lost an eye,” he added.
Preventive Measures against Domestic Violence
Domestic violence does not happen without a cause. Understanding the causes will help identify the ways to prevent them. We have looked at the causes earlier, so let us consider some of the ways it can be prevented.
Identify the real source (The Devil): The devil is the arch-enemy of believers. He manipulates people differently and causes conflicts between couples and siblings in the home. Disciples of Jesus should, therefore, understand this and refrain from retaliating when there are offences against them.
Prayer: There is no problem that is beyond the intervention of God. When a crisis is looming in the home, we should quickly resolve to seek the face of God in prayer for a solution. We should seek God’s understanding and wisdom so that it will not lead to violence. We are to pray about everything and anything in the home.
Encourage equal treatment among siblings: Christian parents should not encourage favouritism in the ways they treat their children and other members of the family. This should include those who have been hired to assist in the home (house-help). Even though there may be reasons to do so, wisdom should be applied so that no one will be treated unfairly.
Avoid negative talk/slandering: One this that can easily trigger violence is false accusations. An attempt to prove one’s innocence can lead to violence. Therefore, we should learn to speak the truth always and not slander or spread false rumours about other people.
Humility: A soft response, according to the Scripture, turns away wrath. A humble person will not argue and fight because he/she want to prove his/her innocence about a matter. Such a person will turn to God for help in the midst of crisis and conflict instead of engaging in physical combat.
Patience: Patience, they say, is golden. Most of the troubles and crises in some homes would have been avoided if people were more patient. We should not be easily provoked, no matter the magnitude of the offence. We should be patient with one another in our relationship and trust God to bring about the change we desire in the lives of a difficult family member around us.
Self-control: Self-control is a great virtue that helps control one’s emotions, impulses, or desires. It is the ability to put oneself under check, and it has been proven as one of the preventive measures against domestic violence.
Forgiveness: Forgiveness is an antidote to domestic violence. A heart that has learnt to forgive will not seek retaliation for any offence against him/her violently.
Responsible lifestyle: God expects His children to live responsibly with one another, especially as family members. We should love each other, pray, and seek the good of all instead of conflicts, rancour, jealousy and misunderstandings. Read the similar post on this page.
Editors
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